What's the matter, peanut butter?
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My Resolution
Sunday, May 27, 2007
It is with a heavy heart that I resolve to be at peace with everything that is happening around me. It's the first step towards happiness and contentment. I should not be conflicting with the world. What I believe to be unsatisfactory may be heaven for some people. At least I should be thankful for that. I have to be content with what I have now so it would be easier for me to reach my goals and not be bothered by petty feelings.
The path to success, my success, is long indeed. I have set high goals and I intend to achieve them. This part of my life can be compared to a bad semester where you get bad schedules, terror professors, and horrible groupmates. And this semester will pass too, just like the others before it. And after it, one learns a valuable lesson.
I have to prove it to myself, and not to anyone else. I am only accountable to myself alone, no one would carry my yoke except for me.
Emotionally, I would like to stay as nonchalant as possible, but not be indifferent and insensitive. I have to stay calm and relaxed in the face of these adversities that are presently hogging me. I swear, nay I vow, with dramatic effect, that come this time next year, I would have achieved some of my immediate goals. Wish me luck everyone, and I ask that you pray for my success. This early in the journey one should already claim victory.
Who cares if I'm alone? That's what I wanted in the first place anyway, right?
My Cynicism II
Saturday, May 26, 2007
I have reached a point in my life where it gets scary. I do not have anyone to lean on except for myself. Families and friends may be there for me but at the end of the day, you have no one to blame for all the mistakes you've mad except for yourself. The moment you lose your patience, everything goes awry. I have lived in a pampered world ever since I can remember. Sure I didn't have all the toys I wanted when I was growing up. But as far as my standards are concerned, it was nice. I went to great schools, I had all the money I needed growing up. I had the spending money In needed, I didn't have a car, but that I was also at fault there.
I miss my life before. Now that I feel so down and out and have no one to talk to except for this window, I just wish I could go back in time and experience those luxuries. It was simple and easy. But I have to grow up. I have no complaints, just wishes. Life here is still good. My first job is okay, doesn't pay that high but still it doesn't demand a lot, except of course that I work midnights and the premium is low, for me that is. But it's better than nothing.
I miss coming home alone. No one to talk to, no one around. I wish that I can go home to an empty house with no one except for me. I miss those days that I didn't need to consider anyone's feelings. If I can do it all over again I would. Somebody told me I'm in a better situation than they are because at least I have family here. I beg to differ. It's not that I don't like being around family. I actually do. But there is something missing. Or someone.
And you know what else? Goodness, yung globe ko nawalan ng load and I wasn't even notified by the damn network that my balance is below P100. I have two call cards left and I couldn't use them because I need P25 to send the SMS. How I wish I bought a damn phone already.
I think I have to go out and buy one today; this is driving me crazy. Heck I don't even have anyone to call that's why I keep on delaying it.
Anyway I just wish everyday there's work. At least I don't have time to spend around worrying about nonsense.
My Update
Friday, May 25, 2007
It's been so long since I wrote here. That's what happens if you have a full-time job. No time to dilly-dally. Okay that was just an excuse. I'm still online 4 to 5 hours everyday. I just had nothing to write about. The Philippine elections passed by without me writing anything about it. So much for that. I hope they finish counting soon. I'm so glad however that the wife of the alleged jueteng lord and the alleged quarry lord lost to Among Gov.
And here in Winnipeg, there was flurry an hour ago. Just for a few seconds. I thought it would be snowing in May.
Our Call to Vote
Saturday, May 12, 2007
With much child-like faith, we opt to face the future of this nation with unwavering hope.
And if only for this, we encourage all Filipinos, especially the
youth, not to forfeit our right to vote, as the outcome of the coming
elections could significantly drain us to the bone or revive our
country. Let us put in mind that in exercising this right of suffrage,
we must choose not on the basis of surveys, popularity or dogma.
Rather, we must vote based on character, qualifications and platform. A
conscience vote never is a wasted vote.
Our participation in the May 10 polls is not limited to casting
our ballots. To ensure clean and credible elections, we can also
volunteer as poll watchers, vigilantly safeguarding our votes against
fraud. Let us maximize our participation this coming election.
In this belief, we will never falter: only in exercising our
rights can we realize our power to change and improve our future. There
is hope.
University Student Council 2004-2005
UP Diliman
PS.
Jepoi David was a member of the Mass Media Committee of the UP Diliman USC 2004-2005. This article was originally posted on peyups.com on May 5, 2004.
Again for those who can, I reiterate our call 3 years ago. Wow it was three years already. Vote on Monday, exercise your right to vote.
Puyat
Ang sarap kasi pakiramdaman ang ganitong oras, madaling araw, tahimik
at payapa. Wala kang maririnig na busina ng mga jeep at kotse. Ang TV
nakapatay, walang mga makukulit, kasi tulog sila ngayon. Ang mga tunog
na maririnig mo ay ang pagtilaok ng manok, ang pag-ikot ng bentilador.
Kung minsan ay bubulabugin ka ng telepeno. *toot toot* Mga
nagbabakasakaling may karamay sila, puyat. Sa mga ganitong pagkakataon
lang ako nakakapag-isip, mas angkop siguro kung ang gagamiting salita
ay pagmumuni-muni.
Halos lumuwa na ang mga mata ko habang sinusulat ko ito, tapos may
paalala pa na hindi lahat ng mga ipinasa mga "article" ay nailalathala.
Ganunpaman, susubukin ko pa rin magsulat, kahit wala na. Kahit wala na
akong maisulat. Hangang pigain ko ang bawat hibla ng aking kaisipan.
Bakit nga ba ako nagpupuyat? Ironic di ba? Sasabihin mong nasa
matino kang pag-iisip sa mga ganitong oras, tapos gising ka pa! Kung
nasa matino kang pag-iisip eh sana'y isinara mo na ang computer at
kanina ka pa umidlip!
Reklamo ka ng reklamo, puyat ka. Nag-aaral ka pa ba? Pumapasok
ka pa ba sa mga klase mo? Sayang naman ang oras at pagod na ibinubuhos
ng magulang mo. Pati ikaw, sayang ang mga araw na ginugugol mo. Para
saan, para dito. Ano ka ba naman?
Nakikita mo pa ba ang sinisulat mo? Ako hindi na eh, may
hallucination na nga yata sa harapan ng mata ko eh. Mga maitim na
linya, saan kaya galing iyon? Sumisikip ba itong kuwarto kinaroroonan
ko? Mukhang hindi naman eh. Nananaginip na yata ako eh. Nananaginip ng
gising.
ilalaan ko sa isang araw, para may oras pa akong matulog. Para
manumbalik ang sigla ng aking balat, may pimple na naman kasi ako eh.
This article first appeared on October 11, 2002 on peyups.com.
My Bank Account
Friday, May 11, 2007
... has been weighed and found wanting. And will it be divided amongst the Medes and Persians? I think not!
So the elections in the Philippines is just around the corner. Well it's again a non-working holiday for everyone out there. Here, they will also hold it this month, Tuesday after next, just right after the holiday. Wow I finally get paid holidays. The most significant difference I've seen between the elections here and the elections at home is, the campaign is cleaner. I'm not talking about mudslinging and rumor-mongering, they have that hear too. And it's nastier, they get to mention their rivals' names in their ads on radio (maybe on TV too, but I don't have time fo TV now). What I mean is, they don't have the campaign posters on every wall. None of that gawgaw paste. Electric lines, waiting sheds are spared here. So no campaign litter here, at least not the kind we see back home.
Which brings me next to Philippine elections, pity that Juan Flavier is no longer running. And talk about Ed Panlilio. Wow just look at the support he's getting in my home province. I just cried when I saw a video of his rally at Paskuhan Village. I got homesick that's why. But it still makes me wonder if Pampanga can remain united after the elections. Well getting caught between the wife of an alleged gambling lord and the son of a former governor turned senator wannabe-mayor who has allegedly divorced his Korean wife and also allegedly involved in a quarrying scandal (whew!). We see a priest running against these two. The situation in our province is so desperate that a priest (even though I don't share his religious beliefs) has to run for governor. And he even has four top-notch election lawyers supporting him; even though they work against each other, they choose to work together for this guy. Robert Reyes can't do that man.
Okay no more ranting and I've come to accept the fact that Winnipeg is my new home. I also felt the same the first time I lived in Quezon City, I cried the first day of my stay. Well you have to let it out. Okay so I've seen the downtown area in spring, and the trees are beginning to have leaves. It's pretty. It's clean. But they have awful roads here. I thought it we be different from what we have in the Philippines. Dugald is bad, and so are parts of Lagimodiere: from Dugald to Regent. Well by their standards I guess.
I just needed someone to knock sense into this stubborn head of mine, thank you for that, I love you. I should practice what I preach. I should just stop ranting and complaining because I'm still alive, breathing, have a nice place to live in, food on the table, running water, transportation, and a job. And someone waiting for me :)
Life is good once again.
My Cynicism
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Oh it's been two long months and I'm still missing the Philippines. I still keep on dwelling on the what ifs and what would have been. So now let us try to put a stop to this. And move on and accept the fact, new place, new country, new continent, new life. People keep on telling me that "Oh lots and lots of people want to go there." I get them you know. It's easier to earn money here. You see where your taxes go (to the people on welfare! work people damn it!). Okay so it's not a perfect life.
You know what I hate about work, is that most of the people that I'm around with gossip. A lot. And then there are those who keep on complaining about work. Quit! If you don't want the job and you feel you're underpaid quit already! Stop telling me it's better to work in this company or that. Why don't you do it yourself. And stop talking behind people's backs. Heck, maybe you're doing it to me too. Why I don't confront them? Well I don't want to. What would you think would happen if you tell people that they should stop gossiping? Oh they'll do it again, and then they'll talk about you. I'd just let out my angst here so I can go back work with a cool, collected attitude. The worst thing about these things is that they are Filipinos and they talk about their fellows, and to think that we're in a different country. Oh my. Talk about crab mentality.
Anyway, this is just me talking. At least I get paid for what I was hired to do. No complaints here against the company. It's the people, people!
Mas gusto ko pa katrabaho mga puti.
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