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What's the matter, peanut butter?

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My Cynicism II
Saturday, May 26, 2007

I have reached a point in my life where it gets scary. I do not have anyone to lean on except for myself. Families and friends may be there for me but at the end of the day, you have no one to blame for all the mistakes you've mad except for yourself. The moment you lose your patience, everything goes awry. I have lived in a pampered world ever since I can remember. Sure I didn't have all the toys I wanted when I was growing up. But as far as my standards are concerned, it was nice. I went to great schools, I had all the money I needed growing up. I had the spending money In needed, I didn't have a car, but that I was also at fault there.

I miss my life before. Now that I feel so down and out and have no one to talk to except for this window, I just wish I could go back in time and experience those luxuries. It was simple and easy. But I have to grow up. I have no complaints, just wishes. Life here is still good. My first job is okay, doesn't pay that high but still it doesn't demand a lot, except of course that I work midnights and the premium is low, for me that is. But it's better than nothing.

I miss coming home alone. No one to talk to, no one around. I wish that I can go home to an empty house with no one except for me. I miss those days that I didn't need to consider anyone's feelings. If I can do it all over again I would. Somebody told me I'm in a better situation than they are because at least I have family here. I beg to differ. It's not that I don't like being around family. I actually do. But there is something missing. Or someone.

And you know what else? Goodness, yung globe ko nawalan ng load and I wasn't even notified by the damn network that my balance is below P100. I have two call cards left and I couldn't use them because I need P25 to send the SMS. How I wish I bought a damn phone already.

I think I have to go out and buy one today; this is driving me crazy. Heck I don't even have anyone to call that's why I keep on delaying it.

Anyway I just wish everyday there's work. At least I don't have time to spend around worrying about nonsense.

posted at 1:41 AM
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